Idioms and a Complaint

Until recently, I thought that growing up in the southern United States (albeit the most northern of the southern United States,) had equipped me with a rather large repository of idioms to fling at unsuspecting victims at will. I was under the impression that the American South was the most idiomatic place in the world. I've recently discovered that this is not true. China is. Mandarin has more idioms than you can shake a stick at. For instance:

This translates roughly to say that things are happening one disaster after another. It directly translates to mean that frost is forming on the snow.

My personal favorite though, because I grew up hearing the English version is:

It translates to say "throwing oil on a fire," which is the Mandarin equivalent of the American idiom, "throwing gas on the fire." Or as I grew up hearing it, "Throw'n gas onna faaar," which means (for those of you that aren't idiomatically inclined) to make matters even worse than they already are. One last excellent saying that I recently learned concerns death. Yes, the Chinese have many ways to talk about death but this is one of my favorites because it's so close to the English translation:

It literally translates to: "Death machine blue screen" or as we anglophones refer to it, "The Blue Screen of Death." For those of you that don't know of it (you must be a meager few,) the Blue Screen of Death is that often enjoyed, full-screen error message of Microsoft's that lets you know that no matter how long you wait for your computer to "think," there is no return and you should just turn the machine off and call tech support.

So know that I am learning much over here! And I plan to come back to America with twice as many idioms in my bag as I had before. Be warned.

Also, my Chinese for Research class is slowly turning into a music class. The teacher had one of the students sing a song in Chinese a few weeks ago because he was ill-prepared and lazy. Today the professor sang for us. I don't really know the story behind it, but I think it concerns an arrangement she made with another student in the class. Needless to say, her voice blew me away. Had Simon Cowell been in our classroom this afternoon, he would have had nary to say but praise. Watch out Susan Boyle.

One last observation. I don't know much about American graduate programs in Geography, but I'm somewhat disappointed with the fact that I go to class once a week, or in the case of my Philosophy of Social Science class, once in a literal fortnight. That would be fine if I had some ultimate project to be working towards. But I don't. I just have roughly one hundred pages of reading due every other week, which I can easily knock out in a night or two. I also try to do some reading on the side. I'm still sitting here unchallenged (or so I feel.)

Chinese, on the other hand, has me working and studying all the time. I'm really getting something out of the Chinese and my command of the language is noticeably growing. But the Geography... It's hard to get motivated when you only have 100 pages worth of reading due every two weeks. The little effort that the reading takes is further enriched (this is hardcore sarcasm) by the fact that there's no penalty for not reading. Enfait, last class a classmate confessed that the he got to page 6 of a 68 page reading and stopped because it was "too much."Zubbadubah?!?! (That's the onomatopoeia of the noise I make when I am in disbelief.)

What's more, the Philosophy of Social Science assessments at the end of the course basically encourage total slacking. I have two six page essays to write in May that are my only graded assignments. Of the 8 philosophers that we discuss over the term, one of our essays must address any of the 8. I can read up on one philosopher, neglect the rest, remain quiet in class with impunity, deliver a decent essay and pass the course. How easy.

I'm obviously not here for easy.

My ultimate complaint has little to do with the fact that my own education falls unto me. That's fine. My problem is that, from what I can tell, this is one hell of a Laissez-faire geography department. They're all nice people, to be sure, but the requirements are a little less rigorous than I expected. I end up trying to fill weeks that go devoid of any interaction with the department or class assignments with "my own little curriculum" so that I feel like I'm really getting what's being paid for over here. (And the rates are, as my friend Martyn put it,extortionate.)

Maybe I can just sneak into some Intro to Human Geography classes. Just to get a taste...

To any and all geographers out there: What's a great geography book to read to fill the time? What's your favorite? What will challenge my perceptions of space and social/political interaction? Suggestions as to a book that does any or all of these would be greatly appreciated!

If you don't have a Blogger account, just send an e-mail to jonathantrenary@gmail.com

On a positive note, I'm going to go see The Men Who Stare at Goats tomorrow. And I will buy an air filtration machine.

But I must go now, so

I'm off like a bride's gown on her wedding night.

-Jonathan "Idiomatic Idiot" Trenary