I guess it's good that I have this much work though. It keeps me off of the streets.
An interesting thing about the graphs though. I spent more time using MS Paint to create graphs than I did actually using the statistical and graphing software. I guess it's good that I logged so much time as a kid screwing around with MS Paint on my dad's computer. It has served me well. Additionally, a friend of mine informed me that an artist named Bert Monroy makes digital art using programs like MS Paint. Here's one of his works of art:
You can see the rest of his work at HERE.
Sometimes I feel like the guy in the picture except, the neon signs in Nottingham all say, "OPEN 8, MAYBE 9 HOURS!" Things close really early around here. The only things that stay open late are clubs and certain bars. And of course, the chippies. That would be fine if going to clubs, bars and chippies were my entire raison d'etre over here. But I want to do other things too! In America we have late-night bowling. Where's the late-night ten pin house over here? Also, I am very interested in finding a late night jaunt that serves coffee or tea all night. Something like IHOP, really. (Did I really just, in some form, claim to miss IHOP?) Shopping closes around 6:00 pm as well. Unless it's Wednesday. Then, for reasons unknown to me, the shops stay open till 7:00.
The Hoover Story.
I don't own a vacuum cleaner over here. I own a hoover. What does it do? Well, it hooves. At least, now it does. It didn't when I first got here. Mostly it just spat foul smelling liquid out of the business end of the vacuu... er... hoover. It really fouled up my carpet too. I ended up fussillading my carpet with half a can of bathroom airfreshener. It was epic and comparable to a freshly gassed trench in World War I. Except it smelled like flowers, not death. Here is a picture of the cute, but once deadly scourge of Flat 9.
No lie. That's what our vacuum/hoover looks like. It only works now because of two ballsy endeavors to fix it. The first, and ultimately less ballsy of the two, was my removal of the foul, fetid, feculent waste that was brooding inside of our happy hoover. The second and much braver action was Jay's thorough cleansing and drying that he gave it. It works fine now, but it tends to still smell when you fire it up. At least it works and doesn't leave it's foul stench in the carpet anymore. Jeez. Looking at it, I feel like it needs a name. Maybe "Hoovie" or "Galdemon: Destroyer of Lands and Sucker of Wastes!" That second name cannot be said. It must be screamed.
Lastly, I need help figuring out what to be for Halloween. I need ideas. Help me out.
That's all from my end.
Keepin' it real like a banana peel.
- Jonathan "My Hoover Sucks" Trenary
A Halloween costume? Where do you plan on wearing it? Maybe you could be Robin Hood. I'm sure you can find a pair of tights there, after all, real men wear tights! You should also not have a problem find a few merry men. Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteI would keep it light, go for a fun costume, don't go overboard with lots of glop and glupe, they will expect it of you being an american. Go silly and enjoy, perhaps a man of many faces.
ReplyDeleteDress up as a Canadian. That'd be scary. You have to let we Yankee Chaps know how the Brits handle the Hall of Weens. Do the shops over there sell candy at outrageously reduced prices on Nov. 1? If so, think about the Resess... think about it.
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