Twinkies and Slim Jims

The degree of the average Briton's ignorance of Twinkies and other gas station snack foods is really reassuring. I've had to explain the concept of "Twinkie" several times already. Usually in the context of frying them. The Brits think we fry everything, and to an extent they are correct. That extent is a certain swath of states that exist in the U.S.'s southeast. Guess which ones. I could try to explain other aspects of the southeast like catfish farming, petrochemicals or the indigo industry, but they just wanna hear about all the weird stuff we fry. Go figure.

This British ignorance is problematic because it means that analogies such as the one posted below hold no truck.



This is why today's post will propose the founding of the American Cultural Expansion fund. The concept is really easy! Money is spent on expanding the cultural horizons of British people everywhere. And by everywhere, I mean the British people that I meet.

"How can this be done" you ask!

Simple just send a monetary donation to the following address:

Jonathan Trenary
Flat 009
Riverside Point
Radmarsh Road
Nottingham NG7 2GJ
United Kingdom

Although, it would help to educate the Britons better if you pre-convert the money from dollars to pounds, as the exchange rate is REALLY high over here. Brits that wish to donate need not worry about exchange rates, as you are likely carrying pounds on you already. And I'm not just talking about the ones you put on from going to pub every afternoon! All donations are acceptable, but your neighbors will judge you if your donation is too small, so send a big one and escape their accusing eyes.

In other news:

I'm also trying to get a hold of a stump. But it's kind of hard. There aren't many available tree stumps in a city like Nottingham. It's not like Fredericksburg where I could just turn the corner and find available tree stumps. They even have memorial tree stumps in Fredericksburg. There are no tree stumps in Nottingham, memorial or otherwise. You may be asking why I need a tree stump (or you may not.) It's for the stump game, the rules of which may be found here!

Conveniently there is a hardware store around the corner, so hammers and nails won't be too hard to find.

Not too much else to say today.

Stay tuned. Random bat time. Same bat channel.

Hasta luego ninos y ninas.

-Jonathan "I'm stumped" Trenary